Week 16 Results – Finals

We have our last choppee, Ennis…

which means we also have our Champion of Season One, Dylan Baker! Congratulations!

Week 15 Results

Same fate as the person who had Jonathan Taylor in the other guillotine league. You can’t survive this late with an injury after only two plays. Jon needed a little more help from his other RBs to have had a chance anyway, so unfortunately he is the next to go, so close to the end…

Dylan wins the $5 faab bonus which is pretty huge this week.

Jon’s players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Eagles
• RBs – Alvin Kamara, Tony Pollard, Jonathan Taylor, Jamaal Williams
• WRs – AJ Brown, DK Metcalf, Aman-Ra St. Brown, Keenan Allen, Gabriel Davis
• TEs – Mark Andrews
• DEF – Chiefs

Week 14 Results

I will let Joe’s rant speak for itself this week. But as he said, even after all the issues he had with his stars performances on Sunday he still had a fighting chance on Monday night if Rhamondre’s little legs could run with the ball but Mr. Rhamondre decided instead to get hurt not once but twice and had to leave the game after scoring only 2 points, an infintenscinable amount when Joe really needed more of a gargantuable number,  so let’s all say goodbye the wizard of the waiver wire who’s headed to the chopping block, unlike Ennis who is cruising right along to the final three with a cool and crisp extra $5 in faab money in his pocket… 

No high score hit last week, so that goes to $20. If no one hits it this week that $20 will go to 2nd place. This is the last week for high scores.

Ennis gets the $5 faab bump.

Joe’s players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Bengals, Bears
• RBs – Josh Jacobs, Rhamondre Stevenson, Saquon Barkley, Nick Chubb
• WRs – Davante Adams, Ja’Marr Chase, Amon-Ra St. Brown
• TEs – Travis Kelce
• DEF – Cowboys, Eagles

Week 13 Results

Three good RBs. Three bad results. And Mahomes was just human. That’s enough to do it with 5 teams left so Loren is heading to the chopping block this week…

Ennis gets a much needed $5 faab bump.

Joe crushes the high score and wins $40.

Loren’s players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Chiefs
• RBs – Nick Chubb, Aaron Jones, Kenneth Walker 3, Joe Mixon, Isiah Pacheco
• WRs – Keenan Allen, Christian Kirk, Chris Olive, Rondale Moore, Michael Pittman
• TEs – 
• DEF – Ravens

Week 12 Results

Simply Trevor Siemian is not Justin Fields. Nor is he Kirk Cousins. And that is why Earl is the next to be chopped!

Dylan gets the $5 faab bump.

No high score this week so that goes up to $40.

Earl’s players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Bears, Vikings
• RBs – Austin Ekeler, Antonio Gibson, Christian McCaffrey, Elijah Mitchell
• WRs – Amari Cooper, Tee Higgins, Tyreek Hill, Mecole Hardman, Terry McLaurin
• TEs – 
• DEF – Bills

Week 11 Results

Holding on to to hope with Lamar is probably what ended Bobby. Lamar just wasn’t the scoring machine the early part of the season led us to believe. Otherwise, busting out with 105 pts is not embarrassing and he at least got to see Keenan Allen play one game. I actually don’t have much to critique so let’s just get on with it and say so long to Bobby. Off with your head…

Loren gets the $5 faab bump for the second consecutive week.

No new high score so that jumps to $30.

Bobby’s players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Ravens
• RBs – James Conner, Josh Jacobs, D’Andre Swift, Travis Etienne
• WRs – Keenan Allen, AJ Brown, Mike Evans, Christian Kirk, Garrett Wilson
• TEs – TJ Hockenson
• DEF – 49ers

Week 10 Results

Having an almost monopoly on Cincy WRs on a bye on your bench and partially injured anyway maybe was not the best strategy in week 10. Not sure the 7 WR strategy was going to work either long term, but under performers all around was enough to do in this week’s choppee, Mr. Rudd, so we must all say farewell to Paul and his Penis #4 team who will both lose their heads…

Loren wins this week’s $5 faab bonus.

No high score so that prize goes to $20.

Paul’s players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Cards
• RBs – Leonard Fournette, Alvin Kamara
• WRs -Tyreek Hill, Allen Lazard, DJ Moore, Tyler Boyd, Ja’Marr Chase, Romeo Dubbs, Jakobi Meyers
• TEs – George Kittle
• DEF – Dolphins

Week 9 Results

Three players totaling 12.2 pts on your starting lineup is usually enough to kill you at this points and CEH, Aaron Jones and Garbriel Davis did just that to Hamm. The -3 from da Bears DEF did not help either. We’ll excuse Dawson Knox’s 5.5 since that’s about expectations. But this week it wasn’t close at all, so we must bid adieu to Jon H. and his Teamy McTeamface team!

Rudd wins the $5 Faab bonus.

Loren once again wins the $10 for the high score.

Hamm’s players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Raiders
• RBs – Clyde Edwards-Helaire, Derrick Henry, Aaron Jones, Melvin Gordon, Khalil Herbert
• WRs -Gabriel Davis, DeAndre Hopkins, Amari Cooper, Deebo Samuel
• TEs – Dawson Knox
• DEF – Bears

Week 8 Results

I’m going to try to use less words to do this recap than Brendan scored points. Which is not going to be easy, so let’s start. Alyssa Milano once said, “First, accept sadness. Realize that without losing, winning isn’t (eom)

Ennis won the $5 Faab bonus.

Dylan sets a new high score of 167.88 so he wins $10.

Brendan’s players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Giants, Chargers 
• RBs – Saquon Barkley, Jonathan Taylor, Cordarrelle Patterson
• WRs – Davante Adams, George Pickens, Wan’Dale Robinson, Keenan Allen, Courtland Sutton
• TEs – Tyler Higbee
• DEF – Dolphins

Week 7 Results

Second closest finish on the year and it was a very close one, less than a point. Tom had Montgomery, the Bears were up a lot so of course they’ll run it in garbage time and Tom just needs about 9 more yards, or a 4 yard catch, and he survives. But garbage time goes to Treston Ebner (who?) and that 1 point never comes. He did try, having spent most of his faab improving his team but having Kupp and Dalvin on a bye did not help. But maybe he tried too hard since swapping the Titans DEF (25pt) that he picked up on Thurs. for the Jets DEF (13pts) on Friday cost him more than enough points to survive. All that being said it’s probably best to blame Aaron Rodgers since he is horrible this year, so thanks to Aaron, we must say goodbye to Tom who is the next to be chopped!

Loren gets back to back high scores so he wins another $10.

Dylan gets the $5 faab bonus this week.

Tom’s players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Packers
• RBs – Clyde Edwards-Helaire, Dalvin Cook, David Montgomery
• WRs – Cooper Kupp, Keenan Allen, Marquise Brown, Chase Claypool, Deontae Johnson, Michael Gallup
• TEs – Robert Tonyan
• DEF – Jets

Week 6 Results

The bye weeks and injuries did not help, and DeAndre Hopkins still being suspended was a problem, but the most probable cause of this weeks disaster was probably that Dallas was distracted by the Tom Brady/Gisele divorce rumors. That’s the only thing that might explain why he went out without having spent any of his FAAB. 305! He actually had 5 more faab than what he started with. Sure, a couple of goose eggs on his starting roster didn’t help this week, but if his starting QB Tom Brady and Gisele can’t make it work, what’s the point? So we must bid ado to Dallas and his Dallas’ Team Team who are next to be chopped!

Joe hit the high score and wins $50 so he’s basically free rolling! That prize will be back to $10 this week.

The $5 faab bonus is still TBD but whoever wins it for being 2nd to last will get it added to their total.

Jon has the FAAB lead now that Dallas is out.

Paul probably had the best first week return on money spent with his faab pickups of Ja’Marr and Tyreek.

Moe’s players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Bucs QBs
• RBs – Tevin Coleman, David Montgomery, Josh Jacobs, Jonathan Taylor
• WRs – Robbie Anderson, Michael Gallup, Drake London, Marques Valdes-Scantling, Kenny Golladay, DeAndre Hopkins
• TEs – 
• DEF – Eagles

Week 5 Results

He had a chance with Dallas behind him with only Josh Jacobs to play, but somehow Josh Jacobs is now a monster player. And he made an effort by picking up Dalvin Cook who almost got him there, but in the end Miami being down to a third string QB hurt Tyreek, Ja’Marr not being last year’s Ja’Marr yet, Dalton putting up the goose egg, Herbert being underwhelming and Chase Edmonds bombing out created too much damage to overcome so Danny is next up for the chopping block.

Ennis came within a few points of hitting the high score and winning $40, but didn’t quite get there so that prize is up to $50 now.

Bobby, who luckily started a DEF this week, gets the $5 FAAB bonus for being 2nd to last.

Moe’s players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Chargers QBs
• RBs – Dalvin Cook, Chase Edmonds, Tyler Allgeier, Mark Ingram, Alexander Mattison, Cordarrelle Patterson
• WRs – Marquise Brown, Ja’Marr Chase, Tyreek Hill
• TEs – Dalton Shultz
• DEF – Vikings

Week 4 Results

Last week I said the best offense is a defense that does not score -6. This week I will say the best defense is maybe one that’s kept on your bench. Bobby smartly and I’m sure intentionally left his Defense on his bench and that helped him secure the 2nd from the bottom spot which got him a $5 FAAB bonus this week. 

As for this week’s loser, that would be Moe and his Team’s Penises’. I would never say someone deserves to be out but when you start the Commanders QB you pretty much deserve to be out. CeeDee was the only player to have a decent week but after him is was mostly single digit players and that don’t cut it at this point so to the chopping block you go!

No one hit the high score this week so that’s up to $40.

Moe’s players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Commanders QBs
• RBs – Dalvin Cook, Tony Pollard, Dontrell Hilliard
• WRs – CeeDee Lamb, Michael Pittman, Samuel Curtis, Noah Brown, Isaiah McKenzie, Allen Robinson
• TEs – Tyler Conklin
• DEF – Steelers

Bobby gets the $5 Faab bonus.

Week 3 Results

As they say, the best offense is a defense that does not score -6. Not much went right for Moose Poop this week outside of a good Derrick Henry game so we must bid adieu to Eddie who is the next victim of the chopping block. But on the bright side, Derrick Henry is available!!! As is George Kittle who’s been on the chopped team for back to back weeks. Go ahead, bid on him…

Eddie’s players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Rams QB
• RBs – James Connor, Derrick Henry, JK Dobbins, Darrel Williams
• WRs – DJ Moore, Courtland Sutton, Hunter Renfrow
• TEs – George Kittle, Logan Thomas, Evan Engram
• DEF – Chargers

Dallas gets the $5 Faab bonus.

Week 2 Results

Brutal, brutal loss. Brian needed 12.39 pts. He had over 9 pts after the first half. Really just one drive away from victory. Cousins has possibly the best WR on his team, they were down a lot so surely they’d be throwing. It wasn’t a matter of if, but when. Turn out when will be next year for Brian since he fell .05 pts shy of surviving. Pretty sure that’s the closest margin yet. And the worst part is had he started anyone from his bench outside of Kittle it would have been enough. So without further ado, we must send Brian to the chopping block.

Brian’s Players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Vikings QB, Giants QB
• RBs – Rex Burkhead, Chase Edmonds, Nyheim Hines, Breece Hall
• WRs – Mike Evans, CeeDee Lamb, Rashod Bateman
• TEs – George Kittle, Pat Freiermuth
• DEF – Broncos

Rudd gets the $5 faab bonus this week.

No one set the high score so that pot grows to $20.

Week 1 Results

Tim’s Players now being added to waivers:

• QBs – Cowboys QBs, Bears QB
• RBs – AJ Dillon, Christian McCaffrey, Rhamondre Stevenson, Rex Burkhead, JD McKissic, Jamaal Williams
• WRs – DJ Moore, Mike Williams
• TEs – George Kittle
• DEF – Colts

 

 

 

 

The draft will take place after the final preseason game which is Aug. 29th. I’ll be done via email. 

I will then run a mock draft on fantasypros.com and we will then draft FULL TEAMS from that mock draft. So you get one pick in this draft.

Everyone’s names were put into a randomizer at random.com and these are the completely (I swear) random results. And for the record, the first pick has never won and the person with the last pick has never been out first.

1. Tim – Team Dak Prescott
2. Ennis – Team Josh Allen
3. Joe – Team Joe Burrow
4. Tom – Team Aaron Rodgers
5. TallJon – Team Jalen Hurts
6. Danny – Team Justin Herbert
7. Dylan – Team Russell Wilson
8. Eddie – Team Matt Stafford
9. Moe – Team Trey Lance
10. Bobby – Team Lamar Jackson
11. Dallas – Team Tom Brady
12. Loren – Team Patrick Mahomes
13. Hamm – Team Derek Carr
14. Brendan – Team Tua Tagovailoa
15. Paul (will get an extra 10 FAAB) – Team Kyler Murray
16. Brian (will get an extra 20 FAAB) – Team Kirk Cousins
17. Earl (will get an extra 30 FAAB) – Team Mac Jones